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Mental Health Awareness Week

Depressed, stressed and a little bit of a mess

Managing COVID-19 Stress:

This past week was Mental Health Awareness Week which is hosted by the Mental Health Foundation. This years theme was all about kindness. Being kind to yourself and those around you is so important for your well-being during this time.

I wanted to discuss how to manage the stress you may be feeling during this pandemic. Yes, kindness is extremely important but this should be part of out everyday nature. In a time like this, I think it is important to discuss how you are feeling. Whether it be happiness or sadness, BOTH are important.

It has been two months since lockdown began and our lives have changed drastically. We have been overwhelmed with dramatic changes to our lifestyles, the way people work and how we communicate. I am by no means an expert in this sector, but I thought I would share some tips and activities I have been doing to cope with any stress I have been feeling.

“Depressed, stressed and a little bit of a mess” – I thought this may sum up how the majority of us are feeling right now so here are some of my tips!

Take a break from the news:

I know it is very easy to get stuck into the news, praying for a glimpse of hope. However, the information overload can be very upsetting and worrying at times. Instead, switch off your phone for a while, mute the news and take a break. You will be aware if a drastic change were to happen. If this is difficult, take some time to read some good news. We so easily forget the good things that are also happening right now.

One of my favourites is from Cosmopolitan UK who do a weekly “Good News Gathered” with a round-up of heart-warming news surrounding the virus.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/a31928442/good-news-today/

Take care of your body:

Your body is your sanctuary so take care of it! Take advantage of your unlimited walks a day and give yourself some fresh air. If I go for a walk (I’m quite lazy!) I treat it as a means of escapism and reflection.

However, one main way I’ve changed is my mindset. For me, a way of taking care of my body is trying to stop comparing myself to others. I didn’t care as much about this before lockdown began, however seeing people constantly working out, dieting and having a healthier lifestyle can take a toll on your mental health. This goes back to being kind to yourself.

I have always known that social media is toxic but I have noticed it more during this time. At the start of lockdown my screen-time increased by a ridiculous amount and recently I decided to limit my time on social media. Although it is very easy to obsess over the things you want to change about yourself, think about what you love instead and don’t let your negative thoughts consume you.

Have “me” time:

Take some time everyday to do something you love. Whether it be drawing, reading or watching Netflix; give some time for yourself. This will improve your mental health, improve your mindset and will help you to focus on yourself. You may feel as if you are being selfish but it is completely okay to look after yourself and having time away from others.

Here are a few things you can do:

  • Read! – I’m certain you have a list of books you’ve always wanted to read but have never had the chance to. Now is the perfect time (and it will get you off of your phone!)
  • Binge! – Watch your favourite movies, binge a new series and invest in Disney +.
  • Learn something new – Take an online course, learn a new skill, learn how to cook; now is the time to do anything you wouldn’t have time for before!
    Music – I’ve found myself listening to music more than ever, especially before bed which really helps to calm any anxiety.
  • Get crafty! – I’ve found myself going through memories and making scrapbooks, making handmade gifts for friends and hopefully some sewing too.
Connect with others:

It is so important to reach out if you aren’t feeling like yourself. Talk to people you can trust about how you are feeling . Although technology can fail on us at times, we are extremely lucky to be able to connect with our loved ones.

It has come to a point where you may feel the “Zoom” calls and quizzes are tedious and repetitive but in the end you’ll be thankful for a little catchup with your friends and family. These calls are vital for your mental health. My favourite calls are the random ones or the calls where you just have your friends in the background whilst you get on with your tasks. These really can make you feel better if you are having a down day.

Keep an eye out on those closest to you:

Although you should prioritise your mental health, look out for those closest to you. My brother Dilan is a third year university student studying architecture and working at home really has affected his mental health. He isn’t really one to breakdown or suffer from anxiety but doing his assignments at home has been very stressful for him. Dilan emailed his teacher about his worries and his teacher replied telling him to “breathe” (extremely patronising). This really did make me question the quality of online teaching and if universities are considering students mental health more during this time.

So, have regular check-ins with your family members and friends as you may not know what they are going through and how this pandemic is affecting their everyday lifestyle and mental health.

A little reflection:

It has nearly been a month since I posted my first blog and I wanted to say a little thank you for the support! The post got over 1095 reads which is incredible and I’m thankful for everyone who read it. I can say that for me and my family it was nice to get our little story out there and it has helped my mental health.

Living with someone with underlying health conditions during COVID-19
Check it out if you haven’t already!

Since then I have had my ups and downs especially since lockdown rules have been lifted slightly with people being able to meet at a distance knowing I won’t be able to. It is hard to see on social media but I know we’ll get our chance to meet our friends soon!

Mental health organisations:

Check out these pages if you need some more (perhaps professional advice) about the importance of your mental health.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week

https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://youngminds.org.uk

Overall:

If you are struggling, seek some kind of help, even if it is small. It is so easy to feel alone and although the uncertainty is stressful, remember that there are better days ahead. Prioritise your mental health and do things that make you happy and remember you’ve done very well so far!

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University in the city

Me in Camden!
Me in Camden!
My first-year experience in London and my advice!

This post may come across a little biased as I love London so I will defend it a lot! I always knew that I wanted to study there. However, I was aware that I would have a very different experience to that of a campus university. I thought I would share my experience of studying university in the city.

Living in London regardless has its pros and cons. Although I felt as if I missed out on a lot of aspects of university life, I also adapted and made some incredible memories that I probably would not have gotten anywhere else. In essence, I had my own expectations and knew that I would have to try explore and be spontaneous to get the university experience that I wanted (although it was cut short).

Living in London – Student accommodation:

When it came to accommodation, I was a bit sceptical as London accommodation blocks tends to be smaller. They don’t have the typical layout that first years expect. Most universities have a large kitchen/living room area or are set out as separate flats. This was not the case for me. The day I moved in, I saw how small the kitchen was and that there was only one common room for the whole floor.

Essentially, I panicked as I thought I wasn’t going to get the stereotypical uni flat experience. The kitchen was a very small proximity so I knew I would have to find out who the people I was sharing with were to avoid awkwardness and to make friends! We made a group chat with everyone sharing the kitchen, got to know each other and created a bond I’m very thankful for.

My advice for student accommodation: 

For many people in the block they had no idea throughout the whole year who the people in their kitchen were. My best advice is to put yourself out there. Have the courage to speak to your neighbours, people who live opposite you and people in the whole accommodation (ours was through parties in the laundry room).

Being in student accommodation is a daunting experience. You are forced to live with strangers and will have many moments where you will feel alone and miss home. It is important to make sure you surround yourself with people who will lift up your mood (even if it is through cake, pizza and lots of maccies).

Student life:

One thing I hated about being in London as a first year was that I would have to partly sacrifice the “student life experience”. My university’s student union wasn’t the best for a first year. They provided a few events for freshers which were enjoyable and great for bonding. However, throughout the year they didn’t really organise any socialising events which is the main purpose of the union. 

Freshers however, although exhausting, was the same as most universities elsewhere. This is instead was not organised by the university but by London clubs and venues where they would host theme nights. So ensure that you make friends with your flatmates so that you have people to go with to these events. At this point I didn’t know many people on my course however most universities organise events that are course specific for freshers. This is something I felt like I missed out on. 

Adapting:

Though I was satisfied with my freshers’ experience and the night life throughout the year, London is extremely expensive and don’t promote many weekly events for students. My friends who go to a campus university would have regular events weekly at a very reasonable price. This just isn’t a concept in London. If you want to go to an event you have to buy your tickets immediately as they increase to a ridiculous price. I guess I adapted to this, didn’t go out weekly to events and if we did it would be for a special occasion which made them more special. Not being at a campus university has its obvious disadvantages but if you are in the city you have to adapt.

London is EXPENSIVE:

This is a given because it is London. From your bread to your transport use, everything is overly priced. It is frustrating as at times you may feel like you are missing out on opportunities, networking and events. Sometimes you cannot afford to pay for the travel, the food or the event. I know lots of people say that London just isn’t a place for students because it is not feasible.

BUT… I do think people forget that there is so much more to London than just being a student at one of the many universities there.

You will NEVER get bored:
The Shard

Living in London can feel like you are living your dream life. You have to become a tourist and explore. There is so much to see and you can never get bored of the city. London is full of culture, diversity and so many hidden treasures that you can explore. Surprisingly, a lot of activities in London are free. I thought I’d share my top favourite adventures from my first year!

COVENT GARDEN – AUTUMN, WINTER

Covent Garden is the perfect place for a day out with your friends and family. I took my parents when they came to visit and we explored the markets, shops and ate a lot. It is also beautiful to explore at Christmas time. This year there was a mini ice-skating rink and lots of magical decorations.

  • Covent Garden in Autumn
  • Covent Garden secret tunnel
  • Covent Garden at Christmas
CELEB SPOTTING – MEETING OVIE


When living in London you never know who you will bump into. I was out on Oxford Street with a friend gazing at the Christmas lights on the John Lewis building when she noticed Ovie from Love Island. We had the opportunity to talk to him and also got to take photos. A few months later we realised we were in an instaxmini advertisement with him. It was a day I’ll never forget.

CHRISTMAS IN LONDON

Although already briefly mentioned, Christmas celebrations in London are magical. There are countless Christmas markets (I tried to go to all of them), the lights on Oxford and Regent street, ice-skating and Winter Wonderland. The best part is that you don’t even have to spend any money and can just go for the experience.  And of course no other city does Christmas quite like London.

  • Piccadilly Circus
  • Natural History Museum
  • Covent Garden
  • Winter Wonderland
CANARY WHARF LIGHT FESTIVAL

In January Canary Wharf held a light festival that was completely free, all we paid for was the tube to get there! London has many free events like this one and you can make a full day out of it. We were lucky enough to explore the whole of Canary Wharf, looking for all of the light statues and also ended up having free pizza and prosecco!

SOUTH KENSINGTON

One of my closest friends studies in South Kensington so I was there a lot but it is also home to numerous, free museums. This is where tourist mode comes in and you just have to go and explore (even if you might be too old for the Science museum!) The most enjoyable days in London are those of which when you are spontaneous. We spent the day exploring Kensington and then hopped on a bus and ended up going to one of the tallest buildings in London to get views of the city.

FOOD

Anyone that knows me is aware that I am a big foodie. So occasionally I would go and try out new restaurants. No city does cuisine quite like London and they cater for everyone. Maybe I’ll share more on another post!

  • Yauatcha
  • EL&N CAFE
  • TAJ 51
  • Hakkasan
Opportunities:

London has so many opportunities. Whether it be networking with other universities and joining societies there, or being given unforgettable opportunities.

One opportunity for me was dancing. My friend goes to Imperial and I joined her dance group for a show held by their Indian society. Although it was a tiring experience because of the travelling I had to do, it ended up being one of my favourite memories of first year. I met a lot of new people, got to be part of an incredible show and got to do something I love.

Unforgettable moments:

Another highlight was being able to volunteer at ITV studios and also being an audience member at BBC. If I was anywhere else I wouldn’t have gotten these opportunities. I also got to meet Stacey Dooley at her show “Conversations with Stacey”. London is a place where you can network and gain work experience like no other.

Overall:

I had a great (and short) first year in London. It did take me a while to adapt and adjust. Although I had my fun moments, I went home a considerable amount, which is okay to do. So, if you are moving to the city or a campus university, be spontaneous and adventurous. Take every opportunity you can. If you are feeling nervous and miss home just remember that it is natural to feel that way. It took me at least until term two to feel settled. So give it some time if you are starting university soon!

And my best advice:

Shape your experience into what you want it to be. You’ll meet people who you know will be in your life forever. Despite London being a crazy and expensive city that can be extremely lonely; you really can make it feel like home. There is so much more I could share about the beautiful city and my year at uni definitely made me fall in love with London even more. I think this can be the case wherever you go!

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Veganism: Movement or marketing?

Vegan
veganism cover photo

In recent years veganism has progressively gained exposure in the public eye. Whether it be because society has become concerned with the climate crisis or because of the ever-increasing range of vegan products that are becoming available.  But is veganism a movement or marketing?

Veganuary has also become an annual event since 2014. Each year millions participate and the numbers are only continuing to grow. At present, more than 3.5 million British people now identify as vegan.

In January and February, I had the opportunity to interview several restaurants in Islington and a vegan blogger. I asked them their thoughts and opinions on veganism and how they incorporate it into their business or lifestyle.

OMNOM:

Islington is home to many local vegan restaurants suited for new vegans, student vegans and those who attempted Veganuary. The volunteer led vegan restaurant “OmNom” is Islington’s latest charity ran business. The restaurant opened towards the end of Veganuary with an aim to normalise veganism and a healthy lifestyle.

Charity-based restaurant:

Yuvi Rana, owner of the business, created this space under a charity. The team consists of volunteers – of which many are students – encompassing “compassion, rather than building profits”. Being a charity, there are no shareholders, with no one getting any financial gain; the heart of this project is solely to build a community from the biggest trend of recent years.

Additionally, the newest vegan eatery not only promotes the vegan lifestyle but also helps the wider community. I spoke to Sandipan Krishna who says: “We are not paying anybody, it’s all about kindness and compassion and that’s what the world needs.” 

Giving back:

The charity-based restaurant works with charities locally and globally. They ensure that every time they sell a meal in their restaurant, they donate a meal to someone who cannot afford it. One of the charities that they work with “feeds one million children in India every single day”. Also, they intend to spread their vegan lifestyle around Islington and other places in London to help the homeless. 

“OmNom” promotes veganism and supports Veganuary but also highlights the opportunities that stem from this lifestyle. It creates a community that radiates positivity proving that there is so much more to Veganuary. Krishna recognises that Veganuary and veganism is “a trend that’s going to stay and continue to grow”.

I was invited to the restaurant to try the food in February. Overall, I was impressed with their creative cuisine and the soothing ambience the restaurant radiated. The food was innovative, with its mix of Indian and Western flavours. The restaurant is perfect for catch-ups with friends, date night or a family affair. Definitely somewhere to try out once it is open again!

Veganism Stereotypes:

Islington has adapted to the vegan lifestyle being a “hub” to many local businesses incorporating vegan menus. The borough is slowly encouraging society that Veganuary is more than a movement. It may seem as if the main exposure of Veganuary has become lost and forgotten. More and more people are seeing it as a ‘fashion’ rather than fully understanding the importance behind the scheme.  

Stem + Glory:

Louise Palmer-Masterton founder of vegan restaurant “Stem + Glory” at Barbican decided to take the opportunity to open the restaurant. She is a “long-term vegan and keen cook” and has seen how Veganuary has affected their business in the last year. “Stem + Glory” opened at Barbican in January 2019 with the more “plant-based food delicious enough to turn everyone vegan”. The restaurant “has been taken to a whole new level” due to its increasing popularity and the rise in vegans and plant-based lifestyles.

The business flourishes all year round, especially in November and December. However, Veganuary did help the restaurant gain popularity. Not only that, Islington’s market for endorsing veganism is like no other, with locals willing to try new things.

Louise says: “Supposedly restaurants are quieter in January, but I haven’t seen any evidence of that, we are just getting busier and busier.” Louise reflects on the reason why her business thrives and puts it down to the rise of Veganuary and the general public becoming more aware of the advantages of the supposedly healthier lifestyle.

She highlights that although some may argue that veganism seems like it is all about marketing, it has “more depth” and social media has actually helped more to promote veganism as a means of ending animal suffering.

Palmer-Masterton says: “A really high percentage of people who do actually eat meat think it’s better to be vegan,” and hopes “more people stay vegan after doing Veganuary”.

Veggierad:

Local vegan blogger, but full-time junior doctor, Radhika known as “Veggierad” on Instagram has fully endorsed veganism. This first stemmed from participating in Veganuary. Being vegan for four years, Radhika decided to convert as she realised how bad the dairy industry was and how badly animals were treated. The importance of animal welfare became more apparent to her. 

Radhika realises that Veganuary does have an impact. She says: “So many people are doing Veganuary as a challenge but then switching back, but then realise and make more vegan and vegetarian choices instead.”

Radhika understands that it is hard to fully convert, and it does take time, as it is a gradual process. 

Her page is used to promote veganism but not to force people to instantly convert. Instead she hopes she’ll inspire and raise more awareness. “Veggierad” is used to educate people on cutting down their meat, places to go and try vegan food and where it can be bought at a reasonable price. Radhika is a strong believer that Veganuary and veganism is not a “trend” or “fashionable”. People are becoming more aware of the environmental benefits and she thinks that social media has helped to create more awareness behind the true meaning of veganism. 

Why should you follow “Veggierad”?

I would recommend following “Veggierad” on Instagram as she shares her vegan favourites but also shares her journey as an A+E doctor during Covid19. Additionally, her posts and stories are certainly inspiring and eye-opening of the world of someone working on the frontline to save lives.

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A post shared by Dr Radhika (@veggierad) on

Overall, the business owners and bloggers are just some of the trailblazers of veganism within Islington. It is clear to see that Islington is a very much pro-vegan area, as more and more vegan-only businesses continue to flourish in the borough.

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I binge-watched “Never Have I Ever” on Netflix.

Never Have I Ever Logo

My perspective on “Never Have I Ever” as a young, Indian girl. How I went from cringing to appreciating.

“Never Have I Ever” on Netflix is Mindy Kaling’s latest endeavour. The show revolves around a 16-year-old Indian American teen with the show exercising the format of a coming-of-age, comedy-romance. The protagonist, Devi suffers from the loss of her father and has just recovered from having paralysed legs. Essentially, she wants to become more popular in the social ranks whilst coming to terms with her culture.

As a young Indian girl I was sceptical to start the show for obvious reasons. How were they going to explore the Indian culture? Why is it focusing so much on Devi wanting a boyfriend? Why have they branded it as a “steamy teen romance”? Overall, I had very low expectations before starting the show. Despite this, it is a show where you really need to give it a chance.

The trailer really doesn’t capture the shows true essence, its deeper meanings and overall message. It isn’t as cliché as it sounds. Kaling is capable of bringing a fun twist to a high school drama weaving in many aspects of Indian culture.  The show is layered with many characteristics that teens (of Indian culture or not) would relate too. Grief, diversity, therapy, self-confidence, friendship and family struggles are some themes explored.

A female, Indian lead:

The most important aspect to point out is that the show revolves around a young, Indian female lead. This is not common at all and it is satisfying and comforting to have this representation in a show. Personally in society and specifically in media Indian culture or brown people could arguably say that they are a minority or feel like one, in regard to the topics explored in the show. Although there has been this representation in the past, it needs to become more of a norm and this show is just the start. 

Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi in "Never Have I Ever" [ Picture: Netflix ]
Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi in “Never Have I Ever” [ Picture: Netflix ]
The annoying protagonist who is extremely relatable:

When I first started watching I couldn’t stand Devi and her desire to get a boyfriend. Her need to change her friends’ personalities in order to become more popular was also bizarre. However, it is acceptable to forgive her behaviour as she wants to be noticed. She wants to be someone else other than the girl who lost her father, or the girl who was stuck in a wheelchair and miraculously got her ability to walk again. (Don’t understand how gazing at a boy fixed this but that’s another story).

In the beginning and throughout until the end, Devi is selfish. Living in her own bubble, she only worries about herself, alienating her friends and family. She is also handling a very static relationship with her overly strict mother.  However, she is also a typical teenager who is struggling with grief. Devi goes on a journey of growth to come to terms with who she is and who she wants to be. It is easy to dislike Devi but also resonate with how she feels.

BUT…

It is strange how Devi is so fixated on finding a boyfriend. Is she trying to fill the void of her late father or is it all part of her rebelling against her culture? You could argue that it is both but instead of rebelling it is understandable that Devi wants to break the stereotype of having to date someone of the same culture. She has a lot of depth to her character and doesn’t want to stay in her lane. Therefore she is so unrestrained because she is trying to make an underlying statement.

Why so much criticism?

There is a lot of criticism that Devi is “whitewashed”, but I don’t agree with this as her character is an accurate portrayal of many immigrant children. However, I hope that in the next season she will realise that she will want to grasp onto her culture instead of rejecting it. There are many scenes and lines in the show that I personally connected to as a young brown girl. I do believe Kaling is on the right path of exploring Devi’s relationship with her culture which will hopefully be further developed in upcoming seasons. 

Richa Moorjani as Kamala and Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi in "Never Have I Ever" [ Picture: Netflix ]
Richa Moorjani as Kamala and Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi in “Never Have I Ever”
[ Picture: Netflix ]

People are criticising how the culture was undermined by Devi’s boy drama. Nevertheless, just because the lead of the show is a brown girl that doesn’t mean that the show has to solely focus on culture. Although it is portrayed in an overdramatic manner where some scenes were incredibly difficult to watch as Devi was so deperate, Kaling perhaps has an underlying message. For me it was that many brown girls and ethnic minorities don’t see themselves as beautiful or likeable because they aren’t the stereotype of what is beautiful. I also think, for those who criticised, there is only so much you can portray in one season. Having this perspective presented is one step closer to the further development of Devi’s story. 

Accuracy of Indian culture:

There were many scenes in the show where I thought Kaling was successful in her portrayal of Indian culture. It is important to state that many young Indian teenagers find it difficult to come to terms with their culture, its traditions, and the rules you have to follow. Devi doesn’t hate her culture, and this is certain with the end scene when she goes to spread her father’s ashes. She has a love/hate relationship with her culture which is understandable for many of first generation. Many moments of the show are poignant and perhaps foreshadow how Devi will be more accepting of her culture later on. She is going through a phase which many young Indian girls go through specifically in teenage years. 

My favourite scene was the auntie gossiping scene. For many Indian families, if it’s a wedding, a birthday, prayers at the temple; you just know that there will be. The accuracy and comedic narrative added to this scene was precise and crucial. Kaling really captured the true essence of Indian aunties and their need to gossip and quite frankly be the élite Indian family.

However, I am not satisfied with the portrayal of the arrange marriage. Kamala, Devi’s cousin had such an important role in the show. She had a secret boyfriend Steve, who I do think she loved but she settled for the arranged marriage and I think it would have been better if Kaling defied this stereotype instead and let Kamala be with Steve. Prashant (Kamala’s arranged suitor) is most certainly an ideal man. Yes, many arrange marriages do work out but for the most part it isn’t what Indian girls want to settle for and most fear this. However, they didn’t demonise arranged marriages and  shed a positive light on them with Prashant.

Overall…

If you did find it cringey I guess you have to remember that high school is a cringey experience and most certainly most people at Devi’s age could or can relate. The trailer doesn’t justify the show, so give it a watch and give it a chance. It is eye opening to the Indian community and for others to delve into our world. I most certainly resonated with the show and its portrayal of being “too brown” and perhaps “not brown enough”. “Never Have I Ever” is a refreshing show that I definitely recommend, especially during quarantine!

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Living with someone with underlying health conditions during COVID-19

Mental breakdowns, lots of sanitising and spreading the love.

It’s okay to be selfish.

So, I wanted to write this article not so that people sympathise with me and my family, but to make people understand the severity of the global pandemic we are going through. I perhaps want to change your perspective on why the lockdown is crucial, and hopefully gain an insight into our family life, living with a relative with major underlying health conditions. Personally, I don’t think there is enough media attention on this topic so I thought I would share our little story. 

kishan-sepsis

My 24-year-old brother Kishan, has a congenital heart condition and has had surgery twice as a child and countless medical setbacks during his life. He has suffered from Sepsis twice which led him to being in hospital for five weeks and intensive care for two weeks, and then he had to learn to walk again. 

Kishan’s story is an incredible story. He is incredible. He is a survivor. No one wants to see their sibling, child, grandson or friend in hospital, fighting for their life. But he did it. Sepsis altered his life. He had to go back to university a year later and he had to make new friends. However, he succeeded and if you are lucky enough to know him this doesn’t come as a shock. 

And now we are living through a global pandemic where covid-19 could severely affect him and it has changed his and our family life completely. I think it’s impossible to imagine what he’s going through, but what I do know is that it is an immense amount of fear and frustration.

I’m going to share my side of the story. On March 18th my dad came to London to move me out of my university halls to go back home as he knew lockdown was imminent and he wanted me out of the city. If I am completely honest, I was thinking that the virus would disappear in a few weeks and everything would be back to normal. I was extremely naïve and didn’t quite understand the severity of the situation. At this point there was no specific lockdown for anyone, no shielding for vulnerable people; life was “normal” (except the panic buying).

As I had stayed in the city my parents decided that I would have to do a 7-day isolation in my room. This turned into 14 days as I did get sick and have some symptoms, but it was all for precautionary reasons as the virus is deadly and we could not risk anything for my brother. At this stage I don’t know what was going through my family’s head, but mine; it was the start of my unravelling insanity. 

The isolation was strict and intense. I ate all of my meals in my room that my mum would leave outside my door, I was only allowed to use one bathroom and I didn’t go downstairs for 2 weeks. The worst part was, I felt as if my family were scared to see me just in case I had the virus. I did feel alone, like an annoyance and a threat. It was possibly the worst two weeks of my life. I have to say though, I did find things to do; I had some university work, binged a lot of Netflix and had endless facetime calls but for the most part it was a horrific experience as essentially, I was trapped.

When my isolation was over the UK was in lockdown and still is. Many things have changed in my family home. We received a letter from the NHS as Kishan falls under the vulnerable sector and so we have had to make guidelines in our home. One of them was shielding which has affected our family lifestyle in so many ways as well as our relationships with each other.  Shielding essentially means that Kishan is not allowed to leave the house (which he hasn’t done since the beginning of March) and also that we must ‘minimise all non-essential contact with other members of the household’. 

It is safe to say that we are very strict and follow many rules. Kishan mainly spends time in his bedroom, isolating and working there, using a bathroom of his own. He has his own dining set and we have been advised to use the dishwasher all of the time. To minimise going to shops, friends and family have kindly been shopping for us leaving it outside our door and we have been using delivery slots. We will forever be grateful for their help.

It is strange because I don’t remember the last time we sat down as a family, or even sat in the same room together. We keep two metres distance at all times (mainly with Kishan to avoid any risk) and it has not been easy.

I think frustration is the main feeling we go through as a family. Frustration because my dad tells us that we need to wipe the handles again because we touched them, even though our hands are clean. Frustration because it’s a Saturday morning and my mum always wants my help with the deep cleanse in everyone’s bedrooms. Frustration because when you are down and sad the only thing you want, and need is hug but you can’t have it because we must be shielding and avoiding physical contact at all times. Adjusting to this new lifestyle hasn’t been easy for us but we are getting on with it, despite all of the frustration because we want to fight it.

I can’t say it’s all bad. It’s so easy for us to complain because we want to go back to our normal lives, but I have been enjoying myself too and we should be thankful for the time we have been given to just stop and slow down. We’ve had a family barbecue, attempted to make TikToks, shaved my brothers head, had many baking fails with countless laughing fits, done some online shopping (oops) and have received lovely gifts from friends. With university cancelling exams and assessments I have binged a lot of Netflix, had too many lie ins and naps, and annoyed my parents with my (well-deserved) laziness.  Despite this, as a family we will always have that underlying fear that what if we aren’t being clean enough, or what if we accidentally touched or what if we forgot to sanitise a parcel? We live in constant fear, even if we are having our “fun” moments.

quarantine-bbq

I’d say as a family we don’t really talk about our feelings. I constantly say how I feel, how I miss my friends, how I want a hug and how I fantasize about normality. The other day I was sitting with my other brother and I’m not entirely sure what we were talking about, but the topic of crying came up and how it happens pretty much daily which is okay. We are allowed to be selfish and long for the things we miss despite the situation. I must admit the house is negative, but that’s fair, it’s so easy to be when something huge is a risk to someone so close to you.

However, I am thankful for my friends who I constantly rant to and I can’t wait to be reunited with them. Although if lockdown were to ease, I still wouldn’t be able to see them as we can’t take the risk. Luckily, we have our countless Zoom and FaceTime calls and we are surrounded by very understanding people.

For me what I miss the most are the small things. Being able to eat as a family, getting a hug or just having physical touch. This lockdown is vital, and I find it difficult to understand why people don’t get that. Yes, we all struggle, but living with someone with underlying health conditions really does put everything into perspective.

I probably don’t say it enough to Kishan (so if you are reading this) of course we’d do anything to keep you safe. I guess we should also say a little thank you, for not complaining like we do and getting on with it like you always do with the obstacles you face. Yes, he never complains and takes everyday as it is, that’s just him and his incredible personality. You really are our hero.

For us normality can wait as his health will always be the most important.

We go to bed everyday thankful that he is safe, that we have each other and that our relatives and friends are also safe. We are thankful for the NHS, the keyworkers and the community coming together to fight this virus.

Stay home and stay safe x

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